Anxiety just hits me without warning...and the other day it decided to hit me just before a 30min drive with my three kids and husband. So there I was clenched jaw trying not to cry and blow up at the same time. Isaiah is making every gun noise known to man, Isaac just doesn't have a volume control and Aria likes to role play in octaves only dogs can hear at the same time my husband is singing to the radio. Now if you don't know what anxiety does to you let me clue you in....It feels like my heart is going to beat out of my chest but in all reality it's beating just fine, it feels like if you were in a room with hundreds of people talking very loud and you were in slow motion and you just want to scream but there is nothing you can do, but in my case I'm stuck in a tiny little car!!! I calmly get the kids quit explaining we're just going to listen to the music. They listen very nicely. Finally peace and quit.....so I thought :-) My husband starts to sing again which normally I love but this time he decides to be silly and sing octaves higher and different words and I look at him with a "please stop I'm going to cry look" and then he burps....without realizing I blurt out "wow really" and he laughs and tells me to have some fun. I proceed to tell him I'm on the verge of an anxiety attack and cant really control it. HE LAUGHS! I look at him and say "well I'm glad you find this so funny, you laugh but I'm about to cry." The funny part is as soon as I got out of the car I was fine. I was dreading the ride home but again was fine. Like I said if just hits me....
"Life isnt passing me by, its trying to run me over"
No comments:
Post a Comment